Saturday, January 31, 2009

Things I Take For Granted

Over the past two weeks I've come to realize that there are certain things that we take for granted, like heat, hot water and running water. It's the end of January and the temperature is hovering around 10 degrees outside. Inside it's just under 60 degrees. Why? Because the furnace has broken down. There are a lot of things I can fix but there are some things that are just beyond my capabilities. So I called my friendly heating repairman. I couldn't get a hold of the guy I would normally use because he has apparently gone out of business. So I do the next best thing and call another one. I asked them to please hurry. Lo and behold the guy arrives within the hour. I'm saved! I'm hoping for a quick fix and a low bill. He's not thinking the same way. So, a new motor and over $500 later I have heat. One problem solved.

Now for the hot water. The water has a huge leak in it and it's one that can't be fixed. I have to replace the entire thing. Luckily it's under warranty. The bad part is, the company I bought it from is out of business I have to get it from the manufacturer, in Tennessee. They can send a free replacement out right away, but it will be 7 - 10 days before it arrives. I'm stuck. I can't fix it, there's no running hot water, and there are two people in this house who like to take showers every day.

Pulling on my Boy Scout experience I do the next best thing: heat water on the stove, fill the buckets, and use the old two bucket method of sponge baths. Not much fun for me, and especially my wife. Every morning at 6 a.m. I'm in the kitchen heating up water on the stove for the both of us. It's not the best solution but it works for now.

Finally, 7 days after it's ordered, the water heater arrives. That night, after I finish all my work, I begin work on replacing the water heater. I'm not a professional plumber but I've done some copper pipe and soldering work in the past. After getting it all hooked up I turn on the water. All is well until the water heater fills up and pressurizes and I find out that a couple of my solder joints are leaking. Off goes the water and I try to fix it. It wasn't until 12:30 at night before I finally gave up and decide to finish it in the morning. It's still leaking but at least we'll have some hot water for showers tomorrow.

Once the new day arrives I'm finally able to take a look at it with a clearer mind and I'm able to finish it in short order. Now we can have a dry basement and hot water again. I always find it amazing how we can take things for granted, until we no longer have it.

The same thing goes for relationships. We don't realize what we've had until we've lost it. I hope it's not too late for me.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Monument

God
Before He sent His children to earth
Gave each of them
A very carefully selected package
Of problems

These
He promised, smiling,
Are yours alone. No one
Else may have the blessings
These problems will bring to you.

And only you
Have the special talents and abilities
That will be needed
To make the problems
Your servants.

No go down to your birth
And to your forgetfullness. Know that
I love you beyond measure.
These problems that I give you
Are a symbol of that love.

The monument you make of your life
With the help of your problems
Will be a symbol of you
Love for me,
Your Father.

By Blaine Yorgeson
From the book, "Charlies Monument"

Monday, January 19, 2009

Family Reunions at Bear Lake

Can you look back on your life and see one event that you really looked forward to year after year? Most people hear the words "FAMILY REUNION" and cringe. They look for excuses not to go to the family reunion. You're going to see people you only see once a year, maybe, and hear about all of their old stories. And if you're a kid your bound to hear these words, "My how you've grown!"

Maybe that's how it was in your family, but in mine we actually looked forward to the annual Lane Family Reunion at Bear Lake, Utah (or Idaho). Starting in the early 60's, my father and his brothers and sisters, and their children, and their children's children, would gather at a little rocky outcrop on the southeast side of Bear Lake, just south of the Boy Scout Camp. We were at the base of a high mountain that was relatively easy to climb and right on the shores of the lake. I think we camped there because it didn't cost us anything. Nobody else wanted to camp there and we could have it for a whole week. It started out as very rustic camping with just about everyone setting up a tent, but over time people brought trailers, campers, RV's and motor homes.

What made this reunion so special was not the location. The shore was rocky, there were no trees to speak of, no grass, no facilities, and no store close by. It was the company. You see, our extended family was very close. It started with my father and his brothers and sisters and their families. As time went on and their kids got married and had familes the group had grown by leaps and bounds. By the time I was in my teens we must have had well over a hundred and fifty people camping there during the week. And it wasn't just family. Some of them brought friends because they heard about what a great time we had there and had to check it out for themselves.

One of the favorite things we did was to build our own diving tower that we towed out into the water and anchored with stones to hold it down. We would all go out to the tower several times a day for some fun. Nobody else on the lake had something like this and we enjoyed it to the max. The tradition continues even today.

We had our own Teen Club with its own activities. I looked forward to the day when I could be in "the club". I had to wait until I was 13 and was the youngest one there. It wasn't until I was 18 that I was able to take the lead in some of the activities. There's lots of stories there. There was a pre-teen club, a kids club, and of course the adults were always getting together and talking about whatever came to mind.

There were no showers or latrines, so we built our own latrine. We dug a couple of holes, put in some toilet seats and put a tent around it. It wasn't pretty. It didn't smell good, but it got the job done. Later on when more people got trailers motor homes we used those instead.

Now they go to another part of the lake, one with an actual campground. Some people wonder why we used to love going to Bear Lake so much. It wasn't the camping spot, it was the people. We may be a little wierd, but we're family. Someday I'll go back, but I don't know very many people there anymore. Maybe I'll just have to start my own tradition. Wait until the next blog when I talk about "Fairhaven".

Friday, January 16, 2009

Family Pictures


We all have them. Some of them we love. Some we hate. But each one tells a story.

What is it? It's the family portrait of course. As I have been compiling a photographic family history I've come across a lot of our old family pictures. It's always amazing to me how cool we all thought we were at the time but when we look back at our family pictures we can't help but think how awful we looked and get that "What was I thinking" thought in our heads. Of course, when we're just young kids we have an excuse because we didn't dress ourselves. But I must admit I made a few mistakes that would have brought the fashion police calling, especially during my teenage years in the 70's.

Now I'm only going to show the family pictures at this point. No sense embarrassing myself all at once. But no matter how funny I think I looked in some of the pictures, I think that, "Hey, at least we were together as a family". I came from a pretty good family. Yes, we all had our moments when we tried our parent's patience and I think we all have some quirks, but in the end, we all came out OK.

So enjoy the pictures in the slideshow. See how we progressed through time. Admit it . . . We look pretty good.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Reflection on Birthdays


Happy Birthday to me! Today I turned 49. I can't help but look back at all of my other birthdays and think of all the milestones along the way. When I turned 16 I couldn't wait to get my drivers license. At 18 I became an "adult" with all of it's rights and privileges. At 21 I could start drinking legally (although I don't drink). At 23 I got married and became responsible for myself and my wife. During my 26th year my daughter was born. These last two events were the best times of my life. I don't regret becoming a husband or a father. I love them both.

When I was growing up my mother would always make a "special" birthday cake for me. My brothers always had a "Train Cake". It was shaped like a train and made out of angel food cake and had a couple of box cars behind it that were filled with M&M's, chocolate chips, and other candy. The wheels were made of peppermint patties, the cow catcher and the windows were made of Hershey chocolate bars, and there were more peppermint patties that made up the smokestack. Life was worth living just to have this cake. As time went on the cakes got smaller and Mom was no longer able to make that cake. When I got married my wife tried to make one for me but it just wasn't the same. I loved that cake. Maybe someday I'll get another one like Mom used to make.

30 was a real turning point. I was no longer in my 20's and had to leave childish things behind. More responsibilities loomed ahead. My wife and I bought our first house this year so there was a lot more to do.

I thought that turning 40 was going to be a big deal. It turns out that it's not a big deal. I didn't feel any different than I did at 20 except that I was a little larger and a little slower.

50 is just a year away now and I think of how I pictured my mother back then. I remember that when she turned 50 that she was really old. Wow, she was a half century old. And yet she was still a pretty cool mom. I understand now how she felt. She still felt young inside and that there was still a lot she wanted to accomplish. The only thing that changed were her dreams. Somehow when you're a young child you just can't see yourself as being 50. Well, from my point of view it's not that far away, and I feel like I'm just getting started. A new career, a great wife, and a fantastic daughter who's just about ready to graduate from college.

So far anyone reading this, birthdays arent' so bad. They just seem to come around a little faster each year. There's no party tonight. We'll save that for the big five oh. Happy Birthday.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Friends

Today I have been thinking a lot about my friends, more specifically about the friends I grew up with. It's amazing that those we were so close to not so long ago, are more often than not, people we now only send Christmas cards to once a year.

In my early teenage years I had three very close friends: Hyrum, Mark and Mark. We did everything together from Friday night get togethers, sleep-overs, camping with the scouts, bike rides to the parks, and other times we just plain pushed the limit to see how far we could go without getting into trouble. It didn't always work. We were inseperable. And then one by one they moved away and developed other friends. We tried to keep in touch but that was hard because then we were seperated by states and not just cities.

In High School I developed some other friendships, namely Tom and Brian. We did a lot of stuff together, even though we weren't always in the same classes. After High School Tom and Brian joined the Navy, and I didn't. That caused a rift between us for a while because they thought I was going to join with them as part of the Buddy program. But I had other things in mind, namely an LDS mission that I knew I would serve at some point. I finally did when I turned age 20. But Tom and Brian and I still did things together when we were all back in town together. I eventually moved away, got married, and then finally moved to New York. Now I only see them when I get back to California.

My tie to California has now pretty much gone. My parents both died within about the last year and we are selling the house. I will always remember my friends and the things we did. I hope we always stay close, or at least get a little closer than we have been. We've all been through some tough times but I know we can make it through them.

What brought this all to mind was that my daughter, who graduated from High School in 2005 still connects with her friends from High School on an almost daily basis. Technology has made it so much easier. Between e-mails, text messaging and IM's, and now video mail, they can see and talk to each other daily without the hassle of sending letters through the mail. They get together whenever they come home from break and just finished a New Years Eve visit to a friend in Baltimore. I think they are very luicky to have each other. I hope they are able to keep up with each other when they graduate from college this year. That will be the true test of friendship. I've got to get more "techie" (not trekkie) and get back in touch with my friends again, at least those that are still alive.

If any of them are reading this, please respond with a comment to this post or e-mail me at kevinlane1460@gmaili.com and we'll get together sometime, even if it's just a virtual get together. Long life friendships.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The End of an Era





The date - December 23, 1920. The place - A small humble home in the farming community of Bowdin, Maine. The event - The birth of Milton R. Lane. Who the that this little baby would accomplish so much in his life, and that he would leave touch the lives of so many people.

I've been thinking about him a lot lately, and my mother too. The reason is because their birthdays just past and it's the first year that I haven't made a birthday call to them in 25 years. My mother passed away in 2007 and my father just passed away last October. They both had a very big influence in my life, but especially my father. So I'll dedicate this blog to him.



I learned a lot from him. I learned how to drive, to do home repairs, carpentry, car repairs, geneaology, and many other things. For the last year and a half of his life he underwent his most severe challenge. He had a stroke back in February 2007 which left him paralyzed on his left side. Unable to do even the most basic of tasks he had to rely on everyone else to help him out. This man who for years was the one everyone called when they needed help, now needed help himself, and he didn't want to ask for the help. But the help came anyway. The family came together to do what we could. The lot fell upon our youngest sister Judy to become the main caretaker for my father since she had the training and the time to help him. We were able to keep him at home for most of the rest of his life.


It was difficult to talk to him because it was hard for him to focus and to talk. I'm sure there was a lot he would like to have said, but for the last year he mainly just wanted to finish his mission here on this earth and go back to be with his wife who passed on before him, our brother Randy who died back in 1987, and all of his brothers, sisters and parents who have all passed away to continue their mission in the next life. But I remember that he was active until shortly before his stroke.


In 2004 he came back to my home in Fairport, NY, and with the help of my brother-in-law Charlie, my father was out there with us cutting down some very tall trees. Keep in mind that my father at this point was almost 84 years old. I admired him for his ability to keep going for so long when I have seen younger men than him give up and spend their time sitting down in front of the TV all day. I learned a lot from him. Thanks Mom and Dad, for everything.

Boxing Day?

New Year Day, or the first Saturday after New Years, has become "Boxing Day" in our house. While it isn't the same as Boxing Day in the UK, it is a tradition nonetheless. In our home it means that it's time to take down all of the Christmas Decorations and "box them up". We did that today. While I love the Christmas holiday with all of its trimmings, decorations, gift giving, parties, food, and the general feeling of goodwill and peace on earth, I dread this day.

I'll give you an example of why. When my wife and I were first married we were able to move everything we owned, up two flights of stairs into our first apartment in just 15 minutes. There were three of us doing that. Today it took us (mostly me when it came to the packing and clean up) nearly 5 hours just to take down the decorations, pack them up and take them down one flight of stairs and put them into the basement. Next year I would like to put them up the day after Thanksgiving so that there's more time to enjoy them while they're up. We didn't get them up until after the first week of December and then we didn't trim the tree until after our daughter got home the Sunday before Christmas.

I love the holidays. Check out the slideshow to see what our house looked like on the inside with the decorations up.

FESTIVUS! For the Rest of Us!


For those of you who don't know what Festivus is I need to refer you back to an episode of the TV sitcom, "Seinfeld". While it was originally created by writer Dan O'Keefe and his family in 1966, it was first introduced into popular culture by his son Daniel, a scriptwriter for the TV show Seinfeld. The holiday includes novel practices such as the "Airing of Grievances, while holding an aluminum pole (undecorated), and having each person tell everyone else all the ways they have disappointed him or her over the past year. We changed it a little so that the grievances don't have anything to do with the people there, but more of the general grievances they have about other things that happened throughout the year, or just in general. Also, after the Festivus meal, the "Feats of Strength" are performed, involving wrestling the head of the household to the floor, with the holiday ending only if the head of the household is actually pinned. These conventions originated with the TV episode. We decided to celebrate Festivus as a gathering of friends , usually on New Years Eve, or a night close to it that coincides with our schedule.

We had our Festivus party last night with a group of friends from church. We probably had 20 + people in attendance. Everyone was supposed to bring leftover food or food that you got as gifts (like fruitcake and chocolate, cake and cookies, etc.) No one was supposed to go to any great trouble to make something. We ate off paper plates to aid in the cleanup. It was a lot of fun. We had our airing of the grievances, and then for the feats of strength we went downstairs and played on their Wii machine. I had never played one of those before and I left sweating up a storm. We left sometime after midnight and realized that this was probably the first time we had gotten home "after" our 22 year old daughter had. It was worth it. We've been to so many parties this year that we are just partied out. I enjoy the holidays, but I sure am glad they're over. Happy Festivus, Happy New Year and all that.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Christmas Letters

Growing up, my father used to write the annual christmas letter to everyone. The unique thing about how he wrote these letters was that he wrote it in the form of a poem. Now my father may not have been the best poet in the world (he wasn't what you would write books about), but he made the letters interesting. The end of every sentence rhymed, and he made sure to include everyone in the letter. Our family consisted of my mom and dad, my two brothers, myself, and my three sisters. I'm number 5 of 6. I don't think he really started these letters until the early 1960's, and they became something to look forward too. The first thing everybody looked for was what he had to say about them. I was no different. I loved reading about me. I'd zoom in on those passages right away. It seemed like this way we knew he was taking the time to think about us and the highlights of our life that year.

As time went on the letters became better looking. I remember the first time we put a family photo in the letter. Then he started adding graphics. After a while he even started adding color. Each year was a new adventure in what my father would come up with next. We all signed our names to the letter and then sent it out. I think I have almost every christmas letter he wrote since I was born. It's a great history lesson.

As time went on, the family grew. We all got married, had kids, and started traditions of our own. But the Christmas Letter kept coming. He still tried to include all of us but the paragraphs got shorter. We knew he was still thinking about us though and we always enjoyed these letters. Some of us even continued the tradition, though without the poetry.

I don't necessarily have a gift for writing so my wife writes the Christmas Letter. While some people don't necessarily enjoy an "annual history lesson", my wife writes them in such a way that people kind of look forward to them. They are funny, informative, and not loaded with all of the traditional "everything great, nothing's wrong" type of stories. I appreciate the time she puts into doing this because in my mind, it keeps the tradition alive. This year we ran out of time and energy. So much was going on. She wrote a much shorter letter this year and I want to share it with you. So for anyone that's reading this, enjoy.



Merry Christmas - Happy New Year 2009

I know you were looking forward to a jam-packed, wordy Christmas letter from the Lane family, but it's just not going to happen this year. I'm just going to try to touch on some of the high points.
Kevin began a new career this year working as a financial advisor with AXA Advisors. It has been challenging learning a new career, but he really likes it. He is in the Young Men's Presidency at Church now, which is great for a former (and actually present) Scouter. Sadly, his dad passed away in October, but he was really not doing well and was just waiting to be with Kevin's mom, his mother and father, brothers and sisters, and son. The family gathered together in San Jose, CA for one last farewell to him.
Karen finally found a job she can live with! She is working as a receptionist for another CPA firm, one that is closer to home, and it has been great. She's not nearly the nervous wreck she used to be, though at times she still feels overwhelmed with trying to work full-time and keeping up with everything else. However, she no longer drives to work with knots in her stomach (except for the day after the election). At church, Karen leads the music in Sacrament Meeting. What a great calling - no meetings, no planning - just show up and wave your arm!
Everything else includes the chorus that Karen and Kevin still belong to (Genesee Valley Orchestra and Chorus (GVOC - www.gvoc.org). This year Karen decided to challenge herself by singing in the tenor section for "The Messiah" Concert. A challenge it was, but still fun. But she'll be going back to the alto section for the next concert. Kevin was in charge of the major fundraiser for the chorus, as well as working on the publicity committee. He just gets into that stuff.
Darling Tara is now 22, graduates from BYU in April, and will soon be out on her own in the big city of her choice! She spent 10 weeks in Washington, DC this summer doing an internship for school and loved every minute of her big adventure. She started a blog and has a few loyal readers (besides Mom and Dad). You can visit it at http://tarablogs.blogspot.com. At the end of her internship we picked her up, spent a couple of days in DC and the rest of the week at the beaches in Delaware. We had such a great time. I always talk about traveling, but honestly, I don't know why - we have everything we need right here in the good ol' USA!